(Note: I’m now on the the Twitters! Follow me @andrewnford ! Here’s some general life advice, aphorisms and miscellaneous thoughts fit for the one-hundred-and-forty character limit!)

  1. Never tell anyone what they should do.
  2. Don’t defend yourself or your ideas (contra St. Peter).
  3. Be inefficient in all the right ways.
  4. Have an unflattering profile picture.
  5. Make time to do absolutely nothing. Do nothing without apology.
  6. Ignore everyone who says you should do something.
  7. Complain: to friends, strangers and the universe at large.
  8. Ramble frequently.
  9. Go for walks.
  10. Do things because you don’t enjoy them.
  11. Don’t do things because you do enjoy them.
  12. Do activities you hate with people you love.
  13. Do stuff you’re not good at. Purposefully.
  14. Obfuscate simple ideas.
  15. Simplify complex ideas.
  16. Sleep without reason or apology.
  17. Avoid optimism. Annoy optimists.
  18. Let everybody else think they’re the busiest.
  19. Look in one direction for longer than five minutes. Try several years.
  20. Don’t find an answer on your phone when you’re sitting with knowledgeable people. Half the fun is figuring out the answer together.
  21. Don’t talk about your sex life (or lack thereof).
  22. Be aware that your body will decompose after your death.
  23. Be aware of the fact that you will die.
  24. Awareness of your eventual death will give your life depth and purpose.
  25. Romanticize — over-romanticize! — exhaust others with your idealism.
  26. If you’re a true visionary no one will like you until after you’re dead.
  27. Revel in using big words.
  28. Deal only in hyperbole.
  29. See what everybody sees but ignores. You point it out.
  30. Low lighting helps you think and makes you more attractive.
  31. Act like a child or an old man. Never act your age.
  32. Engage in flights of fancy often and with regularity. Involve others.
  33. Eschew stereotypes at all times in yourself and in others. 
  34. Swear. Swear loudly. Swear proudly.
  35. Avoid shoes with laces. You spend too much time tying your shoes.
  36. Miss things, places and people.
  37. Regret. 
  38. Fail. Fail often and hard.
  39. Use public restrooms, transportation, libraries, etc. — all those great levelers and democratizors of society. 
  40. The Truth is usually confusing, dark and ridiculous at first hearing.