Or, how I quit caring what was expected of me:
1. Set a goal*: a large goal.
2. Deny yourself, always working goal-ward.
3. Bargain with the Divine. “You’ll do this, right?”
4. Impress the hell out of everyone, appropriately.
5. Time: spend more than a decade in this direction.
6. Fail inches away from success.
7: Experience embarrassment with deep angst.
* Suggestions: learn a sport; give a recital; start a new career; or raise a good child. The possibilities are endless, really. The failure is the important part. Once you fail publicly in a big way, you’ll be free of your fear of failure.